Off the Road in the City......

"Blues skies...local MTB trails are open."

Was thrilled this morning to see this tweet from @WORBA_MMB, the account of Metro Mountain Bikers, Milwaukee's off-road biking club. The Metro Mountain Bikers maintain several areas of mountain biking singletrack around Milwaukee County.  The Hoyt Park and Oak Hill sections are in located in Wauwatosa - the city just west of Milwaukee proper.

The weather was perfect for our first trail ride of the year. Sunny, 80 degrees. We put the hitch on the car, checked out the bikes; giving them the ABC once over - air, brakes, cranks and chains. Once that was complete, made sure we had all the gear - helmets, water, gloves, before heading out on the 5mile trip to the trails. Yes, I know we could have ridden, should have - in fact I ride past the Hoyt trails on my bike commute.  However, kiddo doesn't quite have his biking legs and stamina to do both the rides to and from plus the trails. Working on that is a goal for the year.

For this ride, we choose the Oak Hill 1 trail, aka Harley Woods, at Capitol Drive and Menominee Parkway.  To get to the trails, you drop in on the north side of Capitol Drive, just west of the parkway and the river, east of 45. Trailhead is well marked, just look for the signs.

 The trails are flowing, curvy single track. No tough climbs, but fun little touches of dips and creek crossings. The Metro Mountain Bikers do a great job of maintaining these - in keeping brush in check, building boardwalk type crossings, and installing rock and other armor in low lying spots.

The trail makes a 3mile loop heading out along 45 (which is only noticeable in one small section), and returning along the Menominee River. While not overly technical, and no steep climbs, the trail does force you to pay attention in order to successfully navigate the twisty spaces between the trees.  Both kiddo and I were fascinated by the bench in the river - and couldn't decide if when the river isn't so high, if you could sit in it.

 I also laughed at this tree. Apparently, a local beaver has the same opinion as I about having this tree at the base of a small hill with a slight curve in the trail. Tho' I suppose it would prevent you from riding into the river.

The entire time, I could hear the voice of Tania, my instructor from the Ray's Women's Clinic, telling me, "Eyes up, Kim".  I must say compared to the first time I rode this trail last fall, my skills and ability to tackle the trail have made dramatic improvements since that clinic. I am so looking forward to learning more at the Midwest Women's Mountain Bike weekend next month. I even made a couple of tries at making it over a large log (these not so successful, but other smaller logs, no problem).

We had a great ride, a great time playing in the mud today. Brought a bit home with us.

And as I typed this, was reminded that it was a good thing we took advantage of this sunny afternoon - and how handy it is to get text updates via twitter from @WORBA_MMB, because my phone buzzed with this tweet:

"More rain, arghh!. Milwaukee MTB trails closed."

National Bike to Work Week

Ok, I admit it. I'm pretty much a fair weather bike commuter. I started bike commuting last fall and rode until the Friday before "fall back", the switch from daylight saving to standard time. In the fall, I enjoyed riding the 11 mile route in the cool temperatures, and found the early morning frost to be a beautiful addition to the ride. However, I just am not comfortable riding in the dark, nor on snow and ice. So once the time changed, the commuter was put away for the winter.

My schedule and the rainy, crappy weather have been on a collision course for weeks (yes, refer back to the fair weather thing, and add rain and winds over 20mph to the snow, ice and dark list.) I travel extensively for work, often only going into the office a couple of times a week. But I was determined I would ride my bike this week - that no matter what it took, I would commute at least once during National Bike to Work Week. Thankfully, today, on the one day I was in the office, the weather cooperated.

Beautiful sunny morning. Enjoyed seeing a duck pair playing in water on the trail.

Ride in was great. Loved seeing my helmet and gear in my office. So much so, I kept moving it around, so others would notice. On my own little influence others to ride mission around the office.

I'm fortunate in having half of my route off road on Milwaukee's Oak Leaf trail -both for the views of the Menominee River...... 

And because it takes me off the road - I sure am glad I wasn't sitting in that traffic above the trail!

Loved the ride. Makes me happy to get the 1st of many bike commutes in for 2011.

Day with Kiddo.....1st ride of the Spring

This has felt like the winter that wouldn't end. Combine that with some unusually busy weekends, and a focus on training for a half marathon, and I just haven't been out riding. Kiddo and I were home alone this weekend, while Hubby was down at the Masters. As we planned our weekend, Kiddo suggested we go mountain biking. When I explained the trails were closed because they were too wet, we discussed riding Milwaukee's lakefront trail. We'd done this last year, this same weekend, and I'd written it up here. I knew the South Shore Half Marathon was Sunday, and was worried the lakefront trail would be too crowded due to the race. I've been wanting to try the Lake Country Recreational trail, so this is where we decided to ride.

The 13 mile Lake Country trail runs along the southern end of Pewaukee Lake and Lake Nagawicka from just west of Hwy T in Pewaukee (the trailhead is close to Country Springs Hotel on Golf Road) through Delafield and on to Oconomowoc. This is a good map of the trail.

After airing up the tires, and giving both our bikes the once over, my first challenge was loading the bikes. I've never put the hitch rack on my car, and didn't feel comfortable attempting without a demo - the vision of rack and 2 bikes falling off on the highway was a bit too scary. Throwing my road bike in the back of the car is easy. But my hybrid is bigger, heavier, more unwieldy, and a second bike adds to the difficulty. I can never remember front wheel first or back wheel, but somehow I got them both in, using an old yoga mat to protect the paint and drivetrain of my bike.

The trail runs along a right of way under Wisconsin Electric lines. The first 3 or so miles are paved, a bit further down the trail changed to crushed gravel.

Views ranged from golf courses to marsh to lake views. Though suspect once the trees leaf out, lake views will be limited.

 Kiddo and I enjoyed our time out on the trail. Being the 1st ride of the season we realized we could use a bit of work on our endurance. Nonetheless this ride whetted our appetite for more. We're both excited to hit other trails, make a family ride a weekly event. 

As young as you feel (or act).....

With the exception of 21, birthdays which bring you to an age ending in a 1 are not exactly milestones. Milestones would be the ones ending in a zero, the ones signifying a decade passing...30..40..50..60.. Or the ones ending in 9, bringing the "I'll stay 29 forever" mentality. In fact, the namesake of my junior high school, comedian Jack Benny, made a whole schtick out of being 39. So much so, that our team name was the 39ers. Seriously, google, it, in Waukegan, IL there is such a school, my father taught there for much of his career, my brother and I attended.

This picture is of me, yesterday, on my most recent 1 birthday, a birthday on which a friend tweeted "no way you were as cool then as you are now". The weeks leading up to this birthday had caused me to acknowledge the change in me over the last couple of years. And to reflect on the birthdays before.

I was excited about turning 30. At that time, I'd just been promoted to my first true management role. 30 felt like a good transition, an age to take me away from the uncertainty and indiscretions of my 20s. Five short years later, everything had changed. 35 was a tough birthday. I cried much of the day. Was at a miserable place in my life - unhappy marriage, feeling stuck in my career, obese, health problem after health problem. Unable to see a bright future. I felt old, really old.

In hindsight, attending a school where I was a 39er, seems to have been karma for me. Set up a bit of fate.  Not in the "I'll lie and say I'm 39 forever" sense (tho' it has crossed my mind), but in the idea of challenging conventional age wisdom. The point where I started to get it right. The age I got re-married. Not too long before my 39th birthday, I discovered I was pregnant. Was going to have my first child. An unexpected surprise, but one I am thankful for each and every day. I don't have any memory of hand wringing or fear over turning 40, was probably too far into the sleep deprived world of the mother of an infant to care. Never really thought of it as a milestone.

Seems like the next few years passed in a blur. Career moves by both my husband and I moved us around a bit. I got settled. Maybe too settled. Slipping once again into a life by rote. Comfortable, yet increasingly uncomfortable. Sedentary. Health issues creeping up as my weight crept back up. Slowly coming to the realization that if I continued down this path I would not be able to keep up with my son. That my health, my weight was affecting the things I loved. Many of the activities I enjoyed, visiting amusement parks, gardening were becoming harder and harder. Unable to do horseback tours or ziplines, because I was over the maximum weight limit. Beginning to avoid or dread activity. Knowing this 39er was about to be a 49er....it was time for a change, time to once again challenge conventional wisdom around age.

Heading towards my 49th birthday, I changed. As my weight went down and my fitness up, I gained back confidence in myself, in what I could do. At 49, I finally got scuba certified, entered and completed my first half marathon (and my second), began to re-discover the joy of cycling, bought a road bike, learned the empowerment of fitness.

 

Turning 50 didn't slow me down either.  This was the year I truly began to believe the mantra "you're only as old as you feel". That being fit not only changes your health, it changes your life and how you see things. Opens up so many more possibilities. 50 was the year that being active became a part of who I am. Another half marathon. Renting bikes while on vacation, trying mountain biking (and getting my first couple of battle scars), while Kiddo learned to snowboard, I re-learned how to ski.

Here's to 51....the year I will complete a triathlon, run a couple more half marathons, finally run my first 5k, continue to learn to mountain bike, continue to bike commute, hopfully, try a zipline or two. Continue to set an example of a fit, active lifestyle for my son. Continue to bring activity and fun into my family's life. Maybe inspire a person or two. But mostly, relish the freedom and agelessness being fit provides me.

Getting back on track......

Derailment....wicktionary describes it as:

derailment (plural derailments)

1. (rail transport) The action of a locomotive or train leaving the rails along which it runs

Usually the train is running along on course, all systems go, following the path of the track.  Then out of nowhere the train hits something, abruptly stopping the engine, and one by one the cars leave the track. The resulting wreckage compounds the initial collision leaving more damage and destruction in its wake.

It seems this is exactly what has occurred in my quest for fat loss and improved fitness. March brought  a period of career uncertainty followed by starting a new role in April - a role I love but with weekly overnight travel. Suddenly all the habits I'd developed, the lifestyle changes I'd adopted over the previous 18 months began to derail. No consistent schedule made following a defined training program more difficult. Being away from home meant being away from my scale, so weighing, monitoring my progress, turned into weekly, turned into not at all. Travel brought more restaurant food. Much more. And with it  an "I'm on vacation" attitude - why not an order of fries, I'm traveling. How about an extra few beers, no biggie.

When I was home I found myself feeling guilty about the time spent away. Which made me increasingly reluctant to use home "family" time to work out. I stopped going to yoga. Not being able to follow a consistent schedule, regimented program for strength training meant with my all or nothing attitude, I stopped lifting entirely. The long solitary walks/runs and bike rides that I used to clear my head and shake off stress meant time away from family - and they stopped. Initially I did take advantage  travel nights away to enjoy long walks in the towns I visit, but I've found those becoming fewer and fewer. Meanwhile, the travel style junk food eating and drinking began to creep into my everyday home life also.

One by one my goals from January were not met. Instead of losing weight I gained it. Triathlon season came and went. While I did manage to drag myself through the Rock n Roll Chicago half marathon in August, I did it in my worst time. In March I was on the brink of moving down to a size 10, now my size 12s are too tight, I'm finding myself pulling out the 14s. I've even passed the weight I swore I would never, ever see again on the scale.

And I've blamed this all on traveling.

But I know if I'm honest with myself that's not all of it. By mid-February I'd hit my lowest weight in many years. With the exception of 3 or so years in my 20's, within a few pounds of lowest weight/size I'd been as an adult. At the time I told myself, I needed a diet/training break. Needed to just "maintain" for a while. What I needed to do was come to grips with how I'd changed. How both the weight I'd lost and more importantly my new healthier lifestyle had changed me, my relationships, the way friends and family, co-workers and strangers relate to me. How the changes in me can be at the same time threatening and inspiring to those who know and love me.

And with that I still struggle. We struggle.

I know that I'm not the skinny fat girl of my mid-20's. At one point, nearly 75 lbs less than my current weight. In a size 4. Weight lost after a particularly traumatic time/incident of my life. Maintained through an unhealthy lifestyle. Somewhat lost and off track. Funny, how few pictures I have from those years....when I had the body I'd always dreamed of. How intertwined this body image is with the poor decisions and bad behavior of this time of my life. And how much that scares me away from moving forward on this weight loss journey.

 

But even more frightening is going backward. I am no longer the obese and sedentary woman I'd become in my 30's and into my 40's. Numb. Sedate. Not happy with myself. Always aware I was one of the heaviest in the room. Always wondering if my weight was holding me back professionally, personally.

So where am I? Who am I? I know that I've changed, am still changing. Tired of being stuck in a place afraid to move forward, terrified of going backwards. Most importantly, know that going backwards is not an option - but if I don't take some concrete steps, exactly where I am headed. Know that *my* being fit, healthy and active is best not only for my physical health, but also my mental state.  I must to go back to fitting in time for me, back to making my health a priority in my life. I must let go of feeling guilty for spending time working out, guilty for making the food choices necessary to lose the rest of this weight. Find a way to hold myself accountable for my actions and decisions.

Must stop sitting on the couch all night - disgusted with myself; beginning to resent those around me, as if they were forcing me to eat too much, drink too much, be a slug. They aren't. They are nothing but supportive. Still, I must continue to assure my family that these changes are not a threat. That being a bit selfish is necessary for me, but also for them. I cannot become numb again.

This self-portrait from last March hints at this new Kim. Strong. Athletic. Wanting to tackle the world. Wanting to be a warrior. I just need to let her out. I owe that to her. To me.